Life After Antidepressants, The Other Side – 2 Months

I’ll admit, I feel a little ashamed about the thoughts I let loose a few days ago. Not because they happened, but why they happened. 

I am currently helping ease my husband’s poison ivy outbreak using essential oils. What it has taught me is that consistency is key. Although these are powerful substances, reapplication up to four times a day has been necessary to see and feel improvement. 

When I wrote my last follow up, I wasn’t practicing what I preached. I wasn’t doing what I knew I needed to do to keep myself elevated, even though I was writing about it. I had been slacking on abstaining from sugar since Easter; I wasn’t applying my oils regularly; and I was in the throes of PMS, something that I’m still becoming aware of as the symptoms change each month and even at a year post-partum I am still getting to know my ever-changing body.  

This month I was hit hard with hunger, lethargy, irritability, and feeling down. I like to be a motivated, go-get-um kind of person, so when I feel defeated or stuck, everything else becomes a little darker. Instead of responding proactively, I took no action. In fact, I let fear creep in. I wondered if this was the return of depression — all I wanted to do was sleep and eat! — and I started to feel like a failure. 

Instead of countering it how I mentioned in my last post, in ways I know concretely work to alleviate these burdens, I gave into despair and complacency. You know when you should do something but you don’t.. and you know what the outcome will be but you (irrationally and delusionally) say to yourself “well, maybe it won’t be like that”, but it always is? Yeah. That was me, on the merry-go-round of insanity. 

When I realized this I redoubled my efforts to be proactive — not to write about it, but to do it. I packed up the honey nut bars I made that, when sitting on the counter I was tempted to pick at all day in my hungry state  (I justified making them because it’s one of Kelly Brogan’s recipes and relatively healthy… but the honest truth is honey still wreaks havoc in me as much as cane sugar does. I know. Sad.). I reached out to my upline for Mineral Essence, which she had on hand, because I had been scanning for it on the iTovi (read what I’m talking about here). I redoubled my efforts to learn about what successful oily people, and certain saints do to up my inspiration which resolidified my faith in the amazing collection of knowledge, armor and arsenal I have built over the past few months. I had even stopped my daily prayer! That’s where it really takes a toll. Then I listened to my intuition about which oils I should be using and used them. 

For the past two days, I am happy to say, I have been chipper, optimistic, energized and back to go-gettin-em! 

I want to pause and say a word of thanks. The gratitude in my heart is sometimes so overwhelming no words can convey the sweeping emotion behind it. If it weren’t for people like Jan Collins, Mollie Moses, Laura Hopkins, and Debra Raybern — my upline Gold, Platinum, Diamond, and Royal Crown Diamond respectively — and those cross lines who are so generous that they open their knowledge to “team Young Living” instead of hoarding it for their downline alone — I’m talking about you, Sara Wallace, Kari Friedman, Kari Rae, Dr. Jim Bob Haggerton — I wouldn’t have any of this information to empower myself with. They have all held my hands and showed me the ropes. The resources God has laid at my feet have been truly astonishing and he’s done so in the most unsuspecting ways. 

I was telling my husband last night that as I read more about my religion and more about Essential Oil, and the respective lifestyles of each, the more they validate one another. Those people I just mentioned above walk the talk of each and are liable to the misunderstanding and ignorance of onlookers for both their vocations in faith and in their line of work. I am here to tell you that God is working within these people and within these products. It is a beautiful, edifying dance that has been so validating, so encouraging, that my heart just sings. And yes, at times it too is hard for me to believe it all. But I must — and must share about it — because I have seen and experienced it all first hand. You can have this too. 

So. Back to solutions. One of the greatest things these oils have offered me is phytoestrogens. My entire life I have been testosterone-dominant. I could never seem to tap into the feminine energy that came to other women so effortlessly. As I have learned more about true, internal woman strength through my religion, I have yearned to transform into the woman I am called to be. 

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” -Matthew 7:7

(Interesting side note… as I looked up that Bible passage, my phone slipped and clicked the arrow backward, to the passage before it:

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” -Mt. 7:6

It leads me to pause and reflect about how much I really should share with you all regarding my walk, which truly has been sacred. Nothing is coincidental!)

Ever since I began using the EO blends Lady Sclareol and Joy I have just felt… ladylike. I have been drawn closer to the things that appeal to the feminine mystique inside of me: daydreaming about future babies and writing their names down, decorating the house, playing hostess, tending to my husband, managing my home well, and, to put this politely, embrace my prowling tigress. šŸÆ 

A friend sent me this saying her Venezuelan grandmother could have written it. Even a  couple months ago I would’ve been repulsed at these tips, as if women were subservient and bent to the beckon of their men. Today I am grateful for these tips and I employ them in my house. Why? Because it takes a strong woman to be a servant. Because I love my husband and I want peace for him. Because the state of our home really matters to him. And because he would suffer silently, but never say a word about what he needed — a wife to tend to him — because he wouldn’t want to burden me. Okay, okay there might be a pride issue hiding in there too. 

I’ve always wanted to be this woman. Fear kept me away from my goals as I sneered at others who recognized what they truly wanted and went for it. Never again! 

A few books I would recommend that snapped me back into my daily routine:  

  • Gentle Babies by Debra Reybern
  • Conquering Toxic Emotions by Rhonda Favano
  • My Life With The Saints by James Martin 

What are your reminders that keep you walking the good path? 

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